Making Toast Again

A quote from a slightly younger me quoting an even younger me:

Depression is one of those rare problems best solved by doing as little as possible. It is for this reason that one who is depressed needs friends so desperately. Without desire, the task of daily life becomes an unbearable burden. Even the will to make toast, for example, has disappeared. But the only way to keep one’s mind distracted from the recovering void is to press-on through all the mundanity of life. The act of making toast takes on a self-salvific importance it never had before. It is imperative that I make this toast in order that I avoid the temptation to try to resurrect my desire to make toast. It is making toast as an end in itself, which, as anyone who has been through depression can tell you, is no small task.

Almost every important lesson in life I end up forgetting and rediscovering and forgetting again. I’m getting really good at making the same mistakes with precision.

|  9 Jun 2015